The most wonderful time of the year

     I am so excited to spend my fourth Christmas with Isabella!  I love the holidays, and they have become so much more fun.
     She has loved helping decorate the house with me and my mom.  I get so much more excited in the preparation for the holidays than ever before.
     We have already been to Fantasy of Trees and road in the Downtown Knoxville Christmas play with her dance agency.  We also plan to go to Dollywood, iceskating and to see Santa Claus, of course, at Bass Pro.
      I love all the holiday crafts she brings home from church and school.  I am also anxious to see the Christmas play she and her church class have been working on.
      She gives me a reason to act like a kid again this time of year, and I love it!

Now I lay me down to sleep

     My favorite time of the day is laying down with Isabella for prayer time.
     This is something we've done since she could barely talk, and I would say the majority of it for her.  Now, she knows the entire prayer and gets so excited for us to say it each night.
    Also, she realizes which day of the week is Sunday and has a fit if we even consider skipping church for the day.  She loves going to her church class on Wednesdays too.  They have a bible lesson and do crafts each week.  They are working on the church Christmas play.
    At her Mother's Day Out, they also do a bible lesson and learn songs about Jesus.
    Instilling good values is very important to me, and I'm so glad it has become such a big and important part of her life as well.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above." James 1:17

Not looking for a replacement

     Whenever I started dating Alex, I was and am not looking for a replacement dad for Isabella.  I expect him to be nothing more than my boyfriend right now.
      He has been a significant part of her life in a different way.  He is a great influence in her life and is very supportive of us, but he's not her dad and not trying to be.  
      I don't understand why people make fun of him for it, calling him a dad, babysitter, etc.  I think it proves his maturity the way he handles himself around us.  I also think it proves the maturity of those who make fun of him for it.
     It's not easy dating as a single mom.  It's hard to decide who is going to be mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with dating someone with a child.  I wouldn't have started dating Alex if I didn't trust him and his values.  
     I can't always go on dates or do something spur of the moment like most people my age, and he understands that.  A lot of my plans are made based on what Isabella can do too or when someone can watch her for me.   Most 21-year-olds have no real responsibilities, but I do.  
    Because others my age don't have a responsibility as impacting as a child, they can't understand my life or Alex's now that he's dating me.  Therefore, I don't understand why it's used as a target to make fun of him.  Why judge someone based on something you have no experience with yourself?  
    We have a normal relationship.  We go on dates; we spend time with our families; we argue; we talk about the future; we're supportive of one another; and we simply love being around each other.  The only difference is I have a 3-year-old that tags along with us most of the time to make it a little more entertaining and sometimes challenging.   
     I am more than thankful to have Alex in our lives.  Isabella and I are really lucky in more ways than one.  If you don't understand this, maybe you should reevaluate your life instead.

"It’s always the people who know the least about you who want to judge you the most." -Unknown

Drama, drama, drama

Teen Mom 2 Trailer

     After watching the trailer for the new season of Teen Mom 2, I am simply in shock.  I am surprised that there are still people who watch this show.

     It makes me so sad that these girls have their lives and all their problems on display for the whole world to see.  The more seasons they have, the more dramatic it gets.

    The poor kids on the show will never have the opportunity for a normal life because of the choices that their parents have made.   It is not fair to these girls or their babies to have their dramatic lives and mistakes displayed for everyone to see. 

     It breaks my heart that young girls and even adults support this show.  It portrays such a negative image of young parents and exploits the lives of these girls on the show.

     I wish MTV would be removed from TV.  If all it is going to have are shows like this and Jersey Shore, there is no reason for it to be on anymore.  

     I hate that these shows have become such a prominent source of entertainment.  Also, it worries me that teenagers are looking up to people like this a some kind of role model. 

"Children learn how to deal with relationships by what they see on TV. They see people having casual sex and using obscenity-laden language... I don't see how it could possibly be good for kids." - Faye Steuer, professor of psychology at Charleston College (Charleston Post and Courier, August 25, 2005)

      

Parent first, student second

     Of course, Isabella is my number one priority and always will be.  Her needs and wants come first.  Spending time with her is very important to me too.  However, I do not let it take away from getting the best out of my time in school.
     I have learned to manage my time well.  I am able to juggle school, work, an internship, on campus organizations and most importantly time with Isabella.  
     If you're a mom and a student, you do not have to half way do anything.  There is no reason for you to hold back on the opportunities available, and there is no reason these opportunities should take away from quality time with your child.
     I'm beyond blessed by the chances I've had to further my education and enhance my resumé.  I have maintained over a 3.5 GPA and excelled in all of my classes.
     On campus, I am a member of the sport management club, PRSSA and Tau Sigma Honor Society.  I have an internship and two jobs that I love!
     My life is so busy, but not busy enough to keep me from my relationship with my boyfriend Alex, my family or friends.
     I spend time with them as much as I can, and luckily, Alex has his own priorities in line and accepts my busy life.  We are supportive of each other's goals and understanding even when the only time we can see each other is late in the evening. 
     I have managed to do all these things and maintain a relationship with my daughter.
     With the help of my friends and family, she is also able to do all the things she wants.  She keeps busy with t-ball, dance, mother's day out, church and gymnastics.
     There is no excuse for anyone not to take full advantage of what life in general or as a college student has to offer while providing your child with the best things in life too.  
     She and I are truly the luckiest girls in the world to have so many loving people supporting us with what it takes  for us to succeed.
     Our future is the most important thing to me, and I know my determination to succeed will pay off for us.

"If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it." 
-Harvey Mackay

Addiction

      I'll never understand how people can let their addictions control their lives.

      Whether it's cigarettes, drugs or alcohol, how can you let a substance control your life or determine your decisions?

     More importantly, these addictions keep you from being a significant part of your child's life.  

      Drug addiction has become an epidemic.  It's so hard for me to believe that babies are left in the hospital because their parents are too consumed by their addictions to take care of them, or that a parent would go three years with little or no contact with their child.

      I look at my beautiful, smart little girl and cannot imagine a day without seeing or talking to her, and I definitely cannot imagine letting an addiction consume and control my life so much it takes away from my time with her.

      People's priorities amaze me.  Some people are so selfish they do not realize how their choices often affect much more than just their own lives.
     

"Control your own destiny, or someone else will."

-Jack Welch

Time to brag

More than anything, I love watching Isabella grow and learn more.  She has grown into such a smart and sweet little girl.  She does or says something new everyday.

Her imagination is unreal.  She and her imaginary friends have some fun adventures.  Initially, the idea of her imaginary friends freaked me out a little haha, but I've been reassured by many people that it's normal.

She loves going to school.  I love hearing about the bible stories they have learned and activities they have done each day.

She recently learned how to say the pledge of allegiance after reciting it every morning at school.

She also is the youngest on her company dance team at Center Stage Dance and Cheer.

She is the best thing I have ever done.  She is truly the best thing that's ever happened to me.  I'm so excited to watch her continue to grow and learn.

"While we try to teach our children all about life, 

our children teach us what life is all about."

-Anonymous 

So much to do, so little time

     As if managing time between school and work isn't hard enough, throwing in a 3-year-old, boyfriend and internship makes it that much more complicated.  There have been times this semester that have been so overwhelming.  Luckily, I have the support system I do to keep me sane.  
     Now, I rarely see my friends and family.  I hardly even have time for the family I live with.  Some of my friends find it hard to understand and even get a little frustrated because I can never hang out anymore.
     The older my friends and I get the more busy we all get and the less time we have for each other.  It really makes you realize who your true friends are.  I have realized that the ones who mean the most are always there even if I haven't seen them in weeks and sometimes months.  There are some I can see after a lot of time has passed, and it's as if we have seen each other every day.  We don't miss a beat.  Those are the friendships I value the most.
     Having Isabella, it makes it that much harder for me to make time for my friends because the small amount of free time I do have is spent with her.  I do miss my friends, but I know the ones I have will be there no matter what like I am for them.
     As much as I miss the old days of seeing my friends often, I am enjoying so much where life is taking me and am so excited to see what else the future holds.

"Good friends are like stars. 

You don’t always see them, 

but you know they are always there." 

- Anonymous 

To eat or not to eat...

     Isabella's diet for the past year and half consists strictly of pizza, spaghetti, chicken and pancakes.
     She absolutely refuses to eat any type of fruits or vegetables. She insists that she doesn't like anything else.
     I've tried bribery (yes, bribery. I'm not proud, but desperate times call for desperate measures), punishment and reward. Nothing works! 
    The only way she gets any source of nutrients or vitamins is through the carnation instant breakfast she drinks every morning.
    Her doctor says it is fairly normal and not to worry, but it's hard not to.  I'm afraid she's going to be 16 and still barely 3-foot tall if she doesn't start eating better.
    I really try not to sweat the small stuff, but this and getting her to sleep in her own bed seem like a ongoing issues that aren't ending anytime soon.
    If anyone has advice, I would gladly take it. Help! haha


"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight."
-Benjamin Franklin

  

Pursue your dreams

I know first hand that kids grow up so fast.  I feel like I've blinked and three and a half years have flown by, but you cannot put your life on hold for the inevitable.

I would love more than anything to spend all day everyday with Isabella, but I also want to better myself for our future.  She truly motivates me so much to do well in school.  I honestly believe that if I didn't have her, I would not have done as well or have pursued some of the opportunities I have been blessed with.

Although I'm not with her everyday, we have an amazing relationship.  She is so sweet and well-behaved (Well...for the most part. She's still a 3-year-old haha).  I know that if I did not pursue things now, we would not have all the things I want to be able to give her in the future.

Just because you have a baby doesn't mean your life is over or that you have to put your dreams on hold.  Having a child during school or work definitely doesn't make things easier, but it makes it more worth while.

If you take time for yourself and to do things for you, you will appreciate the time you do have with your children that much more.  Being the independent person I am, I love knowing that one day soon I will be able to support me and my daughter on my own because of my determination and success as a student.

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."
-Henry David Thoreau

"I'm a sneaky girl"

     Growing up for anyone is tough, but changes for a 3-year-old can be heartbreaking.
     Since she was about 7 months old, she has slept in the bed with me.  We've been working for a few weeks on moving her to her own bed.
     We live with my parents; therefore, we've always shared a room.  This made it difficult to ever let her cry out while she was still in her crib. Now, we've fixed up her own room for her to us as a play room, but I plan on moving her in there to sleep as well...eventually.
     Conquering moving her into her own bed has been a lot more difficult than I expected.  To get her less dependent on someone at bedtime, I've also been encouraging her to go to sleep on her own rather than having me lay down with her until she goes to sleep.
     Our current routine consists of us saying prayers, either a story or a song, I sit with her a few minutes, and then, she's on her own.
     Last night, she was up and down for about an hour. My little girl is a big drama queen...haha. Therefore, she's not happy about these changes at all.
     Finally, she had been down by herself for about 15 minutes.  I thought she was asleep.  I was one happy mom thinking she had finally done it.  I went in just to double check, but I did not find what I expected.  Her little bed was left empty:

I look over to find Isabella curled up in my bed instead:

     After finding this discovery, I picked her up and moved her to her own bed.  When I talked to her about it this morning, her only response was, "I'm a sneaky girl."

     She is too smart for her own good. She even out smarts me now.  These milestones might be the death of me.  I wish there were straight answers for how to handle these situations.  If I figure out the secret, I may write a book.

     This Darius Rucker song really reminds me not to sweat the small stuff at times like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5zCaRaJ-kE&ob=av2n

     

Nothing Entertaining About It

     I'm not sure when teen pregnancy became considered source of entertainment, but shows like MTV's Teen Mom and ABC Family's Secret Life of the American Teenager make no sense to me.
     Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 follow eight girls as they struggle through parenthood after giving birth at a young age.  Like most shows on MTV, it is overly dramatic and often emphasize stereotypes.  This show along with Secret Life sort of glamorize teen pregnancy.  It makes it seem like if you get pregnant, you get put on TV.
    Also, if they're going to have shows about this issue, I would love to see all sides represented.  Not all teen moms are as dramatic as these girls are portrayed.  I personally know plenty of young and/or single moms who have graduated high school, college and pursued lucrative careers. I don't feel like these type of women are represented well in this show.
     If shows like this are going to continue to be a present source of entertainment, I would much rather it discourage teens from having sex at all.  Secret Life closes with a disclaimer about how teen pregnancy is 100 percent preventable, yet almost every character on the show is sexually active, one has a child and others are either pregnant or want to be.  If they are trying to prevent teen pregnancy, this is not the way to do it.
     I have a sister who is in high school and loves these shows. Honestly, this is not the kind of example I want set for my sister or her friends.  I don't want her to make similar mistakes to mine.  I would never consider having Isabella a mistake, but I do wish I would have waited to become sexually active until I was mature enough to really handle the consequences without having to rely so much on my parents.
    Whenever my sister Darby has any questions related to sex or anything for that matter, I am completely honest with her.  Too many parents try to protect their children by not educating them, but I think it makes them more curious, and they end up going to a friend for information or learning from experience.
     I would much rather Darby feel comfortable enough to talk to me about anything and learn from my mistakes rather than finding out the hard way for herself or based on some unrealistic TV show.
    Being a single and young mom is not easy. Luckily, I have an amazing support system so I don't have to go through it alone.  Most girls aren't as lucky.  This is why high schools should educate students much more on the topic and the direction these TV shows should be changed.
     Instead of making it look like it's normal and even cool to have sex in high school, teens should be encouraged to wait until they're married or at least out of high school.  The older and more responsible the better.  Because not having sex is the only way to 100 percent prevent getting pregnant before you're ready to be a parent.
     I love being a mom.  Being a parent is so rewarding, but trying to juggle school, work and being a mom is not an easy task at all; therefore, encourage the teens you know to be careful and wait.

“The media's the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that's power. Because they control the minds of the masses.” -Malcolm X
      The media does influence society in so many ways especially those who are easily influence like teens and children.        

Shot Gun Weddings

     Getting pregnant does not automatically mean you have to get married.  Too many people keep to their old-fashion values rather than what is realistic.  Luckily, my parents thought realistically and looked at the big picture and did not force me into a marriage that would have never lasted.
     According to PressTV, the divorce rate for a first marriage in America for 2011 is between 40 and 50 percent.
     http://www.presstv.ir/usdetail/170458.html
     Also, according to divorce statistics the divorce rate for those married at 20-24-years-old is around 37 percent.  For those under 20-years-old it is about 27 percent for women and about 12 percent for men.  With statistics like these, I have no idea why people think it is a good idea to get married so young especially for a reason such as getting pregnant.
     http://www.divorcestatistics.org/
     Two people should get married strictly because they are happy, love each other and want to spend their lives with each other not because of a situation like an unplanned pregnancy.  I see people who got married around the age of 20 or even younger because of an unplanned pregnancy, and they're not financially stable and unhappy.  They live paycheck to paycheck and argue constantly.  I feel that not being together at all would be a better atmosphere to raise a child than trying to raise them in a stress-filled home.
     All situations are not the same; therefore, I realize all shot gun weddings are not this way, but in my opinion, it is best to wait until the time is right instead of hurrying before the bride is too big to fit in her wedding gown.


"The right thing and the easy thing are never the same thing." -- Bill Purdin

Blessing in disguise

     On July 2, 2007, at 17-years-old, I found out news that would change my life for ever.  I found out I was going to be a mom my senior year of high school.  I gave birth to the most beautiful little girl in the world, Isabella, ten days before my 18th birthday.
     Becoming a mom at such a young age is not something I planned and definitely not something I recommend.
      I was scared beyond belief considering I was still a kid myself.
      Being a mom is the most challenging, but rewarding task I've had so far.  When I found out I was pregnant, I knew my life was going to be impacted significantly, but I had no idea that it would change it so much for the better.  Honestly, I initially thought my life was over, but instead, it really had just started.  She truly made me realize that there was so much more I wanted out of my life.
      Isabella is the reason for my determination and ambition to succeed.  Although she was born into a non-traditional family, she and I are so blessed to have such a supportive family.  Because we live with my parents and sister, we are constantly surrounded by those we love, and it has made it so much easier to remain in school full-time and be involved.
      Stereotypically, people view being a teen mom negatively, but to me situations are all about how you handle yourself.  Although I am a "teen mom," I catch myself thinking stereotypically about girls in similar situations to mine. I wish it wasn't this way though.  I think the reason most people have these opinions is because of the way most girls react to the news.
      If more people learned and grew from bad decisions, even the most negative situations can have a positive outcome rather than consequences.
      Situations like these bring out the best and worst in people.  I hope that even though I did get pregnant at 17 that my actions after can set an example for those around me.  I pray that ones around me can not only learn from some of my mistakes, but also, through my determination to succeed and provide the best for me and Isabella.

"You don't know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have."